08 September 2005

I yelled at God today.

Yeah, it's kind of a weird way to begin, but it's true. My lil' sis was in the hospital today. I am so tired of saying that. She has been in the hospital more times in her life than I can remember.

First it was Leukemia.
Then it came back.
More chemo.
Then it came back.
Bone marrow transplant.
After that, secondary infections, Graft-vs.-Host disease, joint problems etc.etc.etc.etc.etc.etc.etc...
Now, luckily, it was only the removal of the appendix. Still risky, but not that risky. She'll be fine.

Now here's my take on God: WHAT THE FUCK!!!

I'm on really shaky grounds with Him right now. Ok, I told someone about my sis and he said, "Well, He has a plan for all of us." I hate that fucking statement. Why should He plan on punishing someone who didn't do wrong in the first place. So some murderer skips jail and my sister gets Leukemia? Hasn't she suffered enough? I think God needs to keep His plans in the right order on that big desk in the sky. I feel bad now for yelling at Him but I suppose if He can forgive us our sins, I can do the same. It's definitely gonna take me a bit of time to be at ease with Him.

Man I was in a bad mood today.

On the positive side, this day is almost over!

P.S. This is for the people I've read about on the Net concerning how their "hearts are with the victims of Hurricane Katrina": DON'T SEND YOUR HEARTS. DO SEND MONEY AND FOOD AND SUPPLIES!!! Nobody needs reassurance. They all know their lives are torn apart right now. Don't get me started on those "Support Our Troops" car ribbons either. Morons.


1 Responses:

Blogger Groove Salad said...

I :'o( every time she's in the hospital. I still remember crying about it as a kid. Hell, I cried when she had her hysterectomy. In the hospital hallway. In front of everyone. I hate watching her get poked with needles and I could't stand to hear her scream.

I also hate that fucking He has a plan for all of us statement.

What about MY plans?! (Dogma)

9/09/2005 1:05 AM


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