My heart hurts!

What the hell is my problem?! I rarely find a girl that I have a genuine interest in AND who is also very attractive. When I do encounter one of these rare gems I can't get any of them to be interested in me. These are the times when I hate being male. Even today, in the year 2005, with women being more equal to men than ever before, the man is still required to "court" the woman like 99% of the time. I have never had a woman ask me out before. And I suck at asking anybody out because, like I said before, I have a genuine attraction to very few women out there. Are my standards too high? Am I being too choosy? I just see no interest in dating some chick that is pretty if she can't hold a decent, intelligent conversation. I am not one of those guys who can just "fuck 'em and leave 'em". The DooDoo feels like doodoo right now.

I guess I should explain where this rant came from. Tonight I saw M getting out of some other guys car outside of the school of music. It might seem innocent to you all but this guy, a guy who is a friend of mine, has also been calling M ever since he and I met her and went out to the bars together. I hate it when you like someone and one of your friends also likes the same someone. This happens alot in my world because of the whole music thing. We music majors tend to hang around each other because as artists, we don't tend to relate too well to everyone else outside of our little sphere. People within a music school tend to just rotate partners constantly within the school.

Of course, I am not giving up completely on M. I am gonna chill out about this whole thing and let things develop naturally. Maybe she doesn't like my friend. Maybe she doesn't like either one of us. I guess until I get the nerve to flat out ask her what the deal is I am not going to stress out over this. No girl is worth this much stress! (I'll probably regret that last sentence later.)