17 October 2007

It's like there are several of me...

Life outside of school - what is it?

I find these days that my mood can swing violently in different directions. When I am in these different moods I feel almost like I am a different Doo. I find myself at times in complete contentment, especially those times spent with V. Other times I wonder why I am even bothering to draw breath. Now I ask you, is this normal? I have the feeling that most of you out there would say "yes".

Let's face it, life is not easy. It is not supposed to be. But the goal we all have, I think, is to try to be as happy as we can be for as much of the time we have been given on this planet. So, in accepting that all of this is true, how can I avoid plunging myself into throws of despair whenever something in my life goes wrong? How do I stop ignoring my problems by shoving them aside and occupying myself with trivial, non-important tasks?

I remember telling many people in Florida that I was sick of being a student and couldn't wait to do something different for a change. Yet, at times I find myself longing to go back there and take up the old life again with its own struggles, because it seemed easier than it is now.

I wish to streamline my emotional ups and downs because I can't handle these rapid mood swings forever.

Ich weiƟ nicht, was zu denken.